Abha writes in all genres. She is a member of The Poetry Society of India. Publications include an article on "Population" for the book Science, Technology and Development (Wiley Eastern), prize winning haiku in "Life Positive,” poems in Femina. She has received A Breakaway Books Contest Honorable mention and publication. She is a Kota Press Poetry Anthology Contest winner. She has contributed to popular anthologies like ‘The Simple Touch of Fate’ and ‘Knit Lit Too’. Her fiction/essays/poems have appeared in Writers Hood, Its About time Writers, Raven Chronicles, Gowanus Books, Tattoo Highway, 3Tryst, M.A.G., Surface Online, Door Knobs and Body Paint, among others.

 

A SINNER LIKE YOU

You preached all the morals
From the day I held your finger
To learn to walk
To the day I hold it again
To learn to let go
Of you.
You wanted me to be brave,
Strong and good
A ‘good’ boy
All the time
It rose like a din in my ears
Over the years
I am a ‘good’ boy
Only for you.

But I clear the air
To speak
And those
Who hear me
Listen to me
Above your preaching
Reach out to me
And know that I am
Only human
A mere mortal
Not the God you wished
for me to be.

Perhaps you thought that
This would absolve you
Of your sins
And there must be some
Hidden in the folds
Of your convoluted mind
Difficult to find
The son
Shining like the knight
And clearing the shadows
With his magic sword
Of everything right
and righteous.

However hard I tried
To fit this image
I always broke it
Shattered the illusion
But brought it together
In front of you.
If you look carefully
You will see
Me cracking in so many
Places.
But I know that
Even now you will refuse
Saying that your eyes are weak
And throw
The magnifier away.

SILENCE

I

In the early, heady days
When love was the only song
To be sung
We silently prayed
At the altar of Kama.

Now issues lie dormant
Like the smooth,
untouched sheets.
We dare not speak
Lest the violence of words
Stain our selves forever.

II

The words do not come easy
They never did.
First I listened to others
Did as I was told.
Then I listened to you
Did as I was told.
Now I can speak
But the words do not come.
I swallow hard and let things be
As they always have.


III

The silence knows
A hole in the space between us
You do not extend your hand
Your fingers for me to clasp
The distance grows
And silence knows
Just how it will be.



THE ULTIMATUM

If marriage was the ultimate
Destination
Why did you not prepare me, mother.
Why did you fill my head
With words like
Independence,
Self-worth,
Education,
Rights.
You taught me everything
that was wrong
For married life.

I bow my covered head
With a sari
And am covered more
With a feeling of dread
Of how much more
I will have to bow.
I will run away
Or take my life
Because this is not
The path you chartered for me.
No, this is not what
I was made to believe.

It is wrong now to tell me
To change direction.
I lay the blame at your door
For hiding the truth.
You showed me blue skies
And shaped my wings
And broke them then
When you placed my hands
In a steel cage.